


make me feel

by lustresky



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A Pinch of Angst, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Pining, bi!Reader, bi!bucky, reader & bucky r bi disasters, reader & bucky r dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24183520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lustresky/pseuds/lustresky
Summary: Let’s just say that you and Bucky aren’t as bright as you both think you are. (Or, a story in which you both find out that the other isn’t actually completely over the fence— If you know what I mean.)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	make me feel

**Author's Note:**

> title is a song by janelle monáe! also this is inspired by seb saying ‘bi rights’ and well... also by me being a dumbass bi. this felt like the longest x reader i’ve ever written when in reality it’s the shortest one i’ve ever wrote. :’) oh well!

“Isn’t she just—“ You sigh dreamily, one of your arms coming up to rest at the table; your head then promptly laying on it. “God, I’m like— _so_ gay.”

Bucky just laughs, ignoring the twinge of emotion in his chest. He sips his coffee, eyeing you through the corner of his eye.

Your eyes had been stuck on the Russian spy for the past ten minutes, now. Natasha, however, hadn’t noticed it all; which Bucky finds both funny and depressing. 

Funny, because seeing the usually alert assassin being oblivious to your feelings is amusing; and depressing, because he knows that he’ll never be the object of your affections.

The reason isn’t even because of his past— you had made it clear to him numerous times before that you don’t think any less of him because of his history. It isn’t even about his arm— you had called it _“Cool.”_ and _“Awesome!”_ a handful of times before.

 _No_ ; the reason that he’ll never be able to be with you is because you swing your bat for your own team.

Bucky just lets out a quiet sigh, blowing his coffee to cool it down some more.

When Natasha turns her head to give you both a smile, he doesn’t contain the small chuckle coming out of his throat when you suddenly flinch in your seat. 

He wants more, he always had, but he knows better than to hope for things that he can never have.

_I’ll just have to settle for this._

Bucky takes another sip. 

* * *

“ _Damn_.” 

You look up from the TV; your view being greeted by Bucky as he sits next to you on the sofa, metal arm gleaming from the dim light of the screen.

The said television currently displays a very delightful and deliciously naked scene of Geralt of Rivia; the camera panning up from his _thunderous_ thighs to his _thick_ upper body— the only thing keeping the whole moment ‘Netflix-Show-Friendly’ is the white cloth haphazardly thrown across his waist, covering his dignity.

You snort as Bucky continues to hungrily stare at the fictional character, unashamed. His eyes are wide, pupils blown and you can’t help but feel the knot in your stomach tighten.

“Looks like someone’s a _lil’_ gay too, huh?” You laugh, trying to swallow down the feeling of heartache. 

Bucky just chuckles back, eyes still focused on the screen. “You can say that…”

You tear your gaze off of the super soldier, doing your best to keep your disappointment at bay. 

It isn’t his fault; _you_ of all people know that you can’t exactly control what and who you’re attracted and not attracted to.

In fact, it’s _your_ fault for falling for someone who’ll never like you that way.

Bucky will never look at you like that— you _know_ that— but there are times, times like this… 

Times where his arm is wrapped around your shoulders, times where your head is tucked under his chin, times where your back is pressed against his chest…

That you fool yourself into the idea of maybe you two can have something more.

Even if you know better.

* * *

Bucky hears the clacking of heels behind him, followed by the familiar whistling of Sam when he sees something he likes.

“ _Goddamn,_ Y/N!” He hoots, promptly making Bucky turn around from his area on the stove upon hearing your name.

His breath hitches up in his throat as he sees you: a form fitting and long sleeved black dress hugging every part of your body, ending quite high above your knees and showing off a garter on your left leg. Your hair is tousled, framing your face. The whole outfit is paired with black heels, and Bucky knows for sure that anyone else who’ll see you in it will do a double take.

You laugh at Sam. “Sorry, honey, but you know that I don’t see you that way.” You give him a wink, eyelashes fluttering as the eye-shadow on your eyelid glitters. Bucky can slowly feel his knees turning into jelly.

He quickly brushes off the butterflies in his stomach, trying to regain his composure.

Bucky clears his throat and sends you a smile, which he hopes doesn’t look too strained. “You look _great_ , Y/N.” 

Whatever his complicated feelings are, he isn’t going to let them stop him from giving you a genuine compliment. Bucky knows how happy it makes you whenever he gasses you up.

As he had expected, you give him a huge smile. “ _Awh—_ thanks, Buck.”

Before Bucky can reply, Sam slides back into the conversation. “So what’s all this for, then?” He asks, one eyebrow up. After a beat, he smirks. “Got a date?” 

Bucky ignores the heart wrenching feeling in his chest.

You laugh, and that’s when he notices the folded flag in your hands. You unfold it and wrap it around your shoulders. “Nah, just got a parade to go to. You know how it is.” You send him another wink.

The flag has a tricolour design.

Bucky had never seen it before.

Sam just laughs, bright chuckles filling up the otherwise empty space. “I see you, honey. I see you.”

You tie the flag into a knot around your neck, giggling. “Well,” You say, arranging your hair, grabbing a clutch from God knows where. “Enjoy yourselves boys, I know I will.”

With a final wink— and even _a salute_ — you step out of Bucky and Sam’s view, heels clacking once more as you make your way to the elevator.

Bucky’s trance gets broken as soon as he hears Sam snickering. He turns, feeling his cheeks flush with heat.

“What.” He says, furrowing his eyebrows, trying his best to look annoyed even if embarrassment is slowly eating away at him. 

Sam just laughs. “ _God,_ you need to tell Y/N that you’re into her. I’ve been seeing you pine over her for months, dude. You gotta tell her the truth.”

Bucky scoffs and turns back to the stove, seeing his food now burnt to a crisp. _Great._ “Yeah, no thanks.” He says, embarrassment now being replaced by exasperation. 

Sam groans back. “She’s _clearly_ into you—“

“No, she _isn’t_ ,” Bucky cuts Sam off before he can even say anything else; annoyance quickly turning into rage. 

He looks back at Sam. “I _know_ she isn’t.”

After a beat, Sam scoffs. “As much as you think you know shit,” He starts, shaking his head.

“You don't know _shit_.”

* * *

You can’t help but let out a small whimper once Bucky’s fist collides with the boxing bag.

The way his muscles flex at every punch, the way the veins in his neck pop out at every grunt, the way his tank top clung to everything… 

_God._ He looks _absolutely_ appetizing. 

Wanda snickers from beside you. She passes you a water bottle and you take no more than five seconds to chug it all down. “Well,” She laughs. “Someone’s thirsty today.”

You wipe your mouth, groaning. “Shut up.”

Wanda just giggles. “ _Awh_ , come on Y/N, you can be honest with me.”

You turn to look at her, being greeted by her wiggling eyebrows. “Ugh, I don’t wanna talk about it, Wanda.” You roll your eyes and turn your head back again.

Which is a mistake on your part— because as you do so, you’re welcomed by the sight of Bucky’s toned stomach; his hands grabbing onto the bottom of his tank top, rubbing the sweat off of his forehead.

You proceed to choke on air.

Wanda just cackles harder and louder— but at least she has enough empathy to pat your back.

Bucky, upon hearing the boisterous laughter, drops his hold on the tank top. His eyebrows furrow for a moment, before his eyes land on you; his lips then curling up into a small smile.

The heat in your cheeks becomes even hotter, but you manage to compose yourself just for a second to send him a grin; albeit crooked and a bit awkward.

Thankfully he doesn’t notice anything. 

As Bucky turns back around to face the other side of the gym, you turn back to Wanda— face fuming.

“Be _quiet!_ ” You hiss, irritation and embarrassment settling in. “He _can’t_ know that I’m into him, okay?”

Wanda raises an eyebrow, face contorted to a look of incredulity. “Why?” She proceeds to poke you on your shoulder. “It’s clear that you guys both like each other— just confess already. I’m tired of it.” She groans and rolls her eyes.

You scoff and let your eyes fall downcast onto the wooden floor. 

“Trust me…” You sigh, feeling the disappointment bubbling in your stomach. “He doesn’t like me that way.”

Wanda lets out a noise of disagreement. “I don’t even _need_ to get in his head to know that he’s _into_ you—“

“Wanda just—“ You cut her off, lifting your eyes up from the floor to stare at her fully. The disbelief in her eyes upon hearing your words is clear, but it isn’t enough to erase the feeling of heartache in your chest. “Just _trust_ me...” 

“I’m _sure_ of it.”

* * *

“ _Oh come on_ — Y/N!” Tony shouts, sounding exasperated, making you lift your eyes from the chicken on your plate and onto his upon hearing your name. 

You cock an eyebrow at him, hands paused midway into cutting your meal. “Yeah, Tony?”

Steve raises a hand up to cover Tony’s mouth, but the billionaire manages to swat it out of the way. “Would you— as in-eloquent as this may sound— _bang_ Mr. Barnes?” He asks, face determined and jaw set tight. 

The rest of the chatter on the dinner table promptly stops. Natasha and Wanda both look amused, but the rest of the team just looks either: A) Confused, B) Disgusted, or C) An equal yet unfortunate mix of both. 

You don’t say anything for a few seconds, caught too off guard to even answer. After a minute your mouth opens, but it closes back just as quick— open and close just like a fish.

Tony groans, arms crossing around his chest like a child. He leans forward to your direction. “ _Well?_ Yes or no?”

You force your lips to part with the intention of saying a reply, but Bucky beats you to it.

“Stark, I think we _all_ know that Y/N would never say yes.” He says, voice dark and unamused.

“Well, I— for one— don’t,” Tony replies, not even letting you speak. His brows are furrowed as he shakes his head. He lifts one hand up, a finger going down as he says, “First off, and I say this totally platonically, you’re _jacked._ Second, we’re not _blind_ — we see you both cuddling at the sofa when you’re watching The Witcher; and third, as a super soldier, your _stamina in bed_ —“

Bucky cuts him off before he can even continue. “It’s because I’m a _man_ , Stark.” His eyes narrow, annoyance and anger clear on his face. “Don’t you see that Y/N’s _not_ into that?”

Your eyes widen, and before anyone else can interrupt you, you say, “Hold up— _what?_ ” 

Bucky just stares back at you; and you notice the irritation on his face slowly morphing into hopelessness. “Aren’t you— you know…” Bucky lets out a sigh, metal hand waving in the air. “ _Gay?_ ”

“ _What?_ ” You respond back, eyebrows now knit together in confusion and surprise. “I mean yeah, but— no?”

Bucky just looks back at you in confusion.

“I’m not— I’m not _gay._ Not exactly,” You shake your head. “I’m bi— you know, _bisexual?_ ”

Bucky doesn’t say anything, eyes wide in shock.

A silence reigns over the table before Tony breaks it again. 

“Well that means that that lil’ reason is unjustifiable, then!” He claps his hands. “So what is it, Y/N? A yes? A no?”

You roll your eyes, trying to ignore the feeling of rejection starting to bubble in your stomach. You know your answer, but it didn’t matter in the end. 

“I don’t think what ever I’ll say will be worth it in the long run, Tony,” You try to play off the heartache by turning back to your plate. “Besides, I don’t have a chance, anyways.” You laugh half heartedly.

A beat passes— even Tony doesn’t reply to your words— until…

“What do you mean you don’t?” Bucky asks, low enough to be a whisper, but loud enough for you to catch it.

You look up, staring back into his cerulean eyes. “Well...” You try not to show your feelings as you shrug your shoulders. “Aren’t _you_ gay?”

A pause, then— Bucky _snorts._ **_Actually snorts._**

“Doll, I’m not—“ His eyes are crinkling, smile stretched wide. “I mean, _yes,_ but I’m… I’m into women just as much as I am into men.” 

You let your jaw drop.

_Wait… So that meant…_

This time, Steve interrupts. “ _Okay…_ I think I’ve had enough of dinner, how about we watch a film?” He stands up from his seat, his own chair loudly scratching against the wood as he tries to act nonchalant. 

Everyone else— except you and Bucky— stands up, a chorus of _“Yeah, sure.”_ ‘s and awkward coughs filling the room. The team heads out in a straight file into the communal space.

Tony, before disappearing into the corner, sends you both a wink; Steve promptly whisks him away.

You look back at Bucky.

The two of you just stare at each other wordlessly; still reeling over the fact that you two had both been absolute idiots.

For a few minutes, silence engulfs both of you, until Bucky coughs.

“You still—“ He lifts up an arm and rubs the back of his neck, a nervous tick that you instantly recognize. “You still haven’t answered Stark’s question…”

You sit straighter in your seat, surprised at his words. The heat creeps up to your cheeks; and although you know now that you actually have a chance, the weight of rejection is still heavy. 

After all, you had already accepted being turned down because of his _‘supposed’_ attraction not including your sex— which, truthfully, hurts less than being rejected because of anything else. 

You let out a chuckle, but it doesn’t end up sounding as happy as you had wanted it to be. “It’s not that important, Buck— you don’t want to know, trust me.” Your eyes fall down to your unfinished meal once more.

Bucky lets out a sigh, and for a few seconds he doesn’t say anything. Until… 

“That’s the thing, Y/N… I— I want to.”

You look up, making eye contact once more.

“I want to know,” He says, eyes full of hope yet also doubt. “I’d rather know now than never.”

Your breath gets caught in your throat.

“So?” Bucky smiles, a small, unsure one. “Do you— _as per Tony’s words_ — want to bang me?” 

The laugh escapes your mouth as soon as Bucky pronounces those words, and you just take a second to compose yourself. _God, isn’t this night just eventful?_

As the last few giggles come out, you shake your head, feeling the courage to say the truth run up your veins. 

_Fuck it._

You fix your gaze into Bucky’s eyes— those cerulean blues that you can get lost in for days.

“ _Yes._ I want to _bang_ you, Sergeant Barnes,” You say, and as his eyes flash with joy as your mouth quirks into a grin. 

“But I don’t want just that…”

Before you know it, you had stood up from your seat and are now walking towards him; the fearlessness in you becoming bigger and bigger with each step you take.

Once you reach him, he stands up from his seat as well. He towers over you easily, but instead of being intimidated, you feel comforted.

“I want to… I want to go on dates with you, I want to cuddle with you, I want to talk about everything and nothing and just—“ You look up at him through your eyelashes, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach as you grip onto your nerves.

“I want _you._ ”

Bucky doesn’t respond for a moment, prompting you to worry that you might’ve misread the situation, but instead of words he leans down— capturing your lips with a soft peck.

It’s quick, _chaste_ — but it’s enough for your heart to soar.

You gaze back into his eyes, feeling your cheeks burn and the butterflies in your stomach having a party.

Bucky smiles, lips quirked so high upwards that his eyes crinkled. You think— no, _you’re sure_ — that you’d never get enough of the sight.

“I want you too.”

* * *

_“Buck, how in the_ **_hell_ ** _did you not know that I was bi? I walked around with a whole ass pride flag on my back!”_

_“It isn’t my fault that we didn’t have those back in the day— and besides, I’ve never heard you talk about having a crush on another guy!”_

_“That’s because I had a crush on you, dumbass. Plus, what about you? You spend all your time ogling at Geralt, I’ve never even seen you stare at a woman!”_

_“That’s because the only woman that I have my eyes on is you,_ **_doll!_ ** _”_

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! as always, requests are open on my tumblr, @lustresky! & pls don’t forget to leave kudos, thank you! c:


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